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Illness or Health? The choice is YOURS!

I’ve always been physically active but I wasn’t as healthy as I thought.

When I was diagnosed with cancer many years ago, I couldn’t understand why it was happening. I had played sports my whole life. I ate fairly healthily, although there was definitely room for improvement. I didn’t drink much or use drugs at all. I didn’t think I had much stress in my life. (There was but I wasn’t seeing it.) So what was I missing?

Well, a lot actually. I was really hard on myself mentally when I played sports. The emotions I suppressed came out on the ice or the field or the court and it was usually directed at myself. Not so helpful to my mental state. Yes, my body got a workout but I often felt even more frustrated after I’d finished playing the game. If we’d lost the game, I wasn’t good enough (goalies tend to take on all the responsibility for the outcome of a game) and we lost more than we won, regardless of the sport. I wasn’t focusing on my mental or emotional states. I wasn’t effectively expressing my anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety and it made itself known in the form of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

The cancer diagnosis drove me to the gym. I hadn’t maintained a regular workout regimen before that outside of playing sports. Despite the frequent activity throughout my life, I continued to have body image issues. Training in the gym regularly changed my body but I still felt like I was overweight.

It wasn’t until after I’d begun learning John Barnes’ Myofascial Release that I realized how I’d created the cancer. My unexpressed anger, sadness, anxiety and fear were showing up in a way I didn’t want to ignore. I wasn’t ready to die and I didn’t want to live with this illness.

I have since learned how my thoughts and beliefs created that cancer and create everything else that happens in my life, as it does for all of us. Now I understand the importance of addressing my mental, emotional and physical health in different ways to feel better. I haven’t perfected it by any means. It’s a process that requires regular attention and will continue my whole life. But I know that I have control over it all and that is the most important thing. I am healthier now than I have ever been and you can be too!

Illness or health? The choice is yours!


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